Back in Sydney/Qurban's News
My first entry since arriving back in Sydney. I’m currently sitting in my room on a balmy spring evening listening to the sound of the furin (my Japanese wind chime) and watching the sky as it changes to that beautiful pale blue, signalling the coming darkness. I’d forgotten how beautiful spring and summer evenings are here in Australia – last summer seems like a long time ago.
Arrived back in Sydney on Sunday morning, but because I find it impossible to sleep on aeroplanes the rest of the day was basically a blur. Qurban picked me up from the airport, so we had a bit of a chat and I showed him some of my photos before he headed home. After he’d left I decided to nap. I was only asleep for 25 minutes but when I woke up for a few moments I had no idea where I was, what I was doing and even what language I was supposed to be speaking. Managed to stay awake for the rest of the afternoon but was in bed by 8pm.
Yesterday was a little better, but even today I’m still feeling a little disorientated. I start work tomorrow, so hopefully being back in a routine will make the transition easier, but in my mind I’m still on holiday. I miss Japan – miss the food, my friends and I suppose if I’m honest I miss not having any responsibilities. Now that I’m back in Sydney I have all the mundane day-to-day issues to consider – paying the telephone bill, going to the supermarket, dealing with the Sydney public transportation system… Being on holiday is so much easier in many ways. Of course there are certain challenges, but San Francisco and, for me, Japan are not exactly difficult places to travel to and in.
I’m only working 3 days a week, which in many ways quite suits me. There’s less pressure and I’m hoping that I can use the 2 extra days off productively to think about where life is taking me and what I want to do. I enjoy teaching, but I’m not sure that teaching English is what I want to do long term. While I was in Japan I started thinking about perhaps going back to university, but before I do that I need to think about what I want to do.
All of you who have been reading my blog would know that Qurban was in Pakistan visiting his family. Before he left he was telling me that his mother had been talking to him about getting married and we kept joking about how he was going to deal with his family pressuring him to get married. Just before he left Pakistan I called him from Japan to see how he was doing. He was just about to get on a flight to Islamabad to take some papers to the Australian Embassy for so his family can join him here in Australia, so we didn’t get to talk for very long. It was long enough, however, for him to tell me that 10 days earlier he’d got married! I thought he was joking at first, but he was deadly serious. He’d tried to tell his parents that he wasn’t in a position to be getting married, but in the end he decided that he didn’t want to upset or disappoint them and agreed to marry this woman that his parents had found for him. I’ve known about this for about 2 weeks now, but until now haven’t really felt like writing about it. I was very upset when he first told me, but now I realise that he had very little choice and I just hope that he and his wife will find happiness together. His wife, whose name is Munazza, was born in Pakistan as her parents fled Afghanistan during the communist regime in the 1980s. From what Qurban told me she’s well-educated, speaks English well and is currently studying banking and accounting at college. Qurban showed me some pictures of her on Sunday when he picked me up and she’s very beautiful. She now has to apply for a spousal visa, so I’m in the process of writing a statement for him declaring that I believe the marriage to be genuine and continuing – something I definitely didn’t expect to be doing.
Arrived back in Sydney on Sunday morning, but because I find it impossible to sleep on aeroplanes the rest of the day was basically a blur. Qurban picked me up from the airport, so we had a bit of a chat and I showed him some of my photos before he headed home. After he’d left I decided to nap. I was only asleep for 25 minutes but when I woke up for a few moments I had no idea where I was, what I was doing and even what language I was supposed to be speaking. Managed to stay awake for the rest of the afternoon but was in bed by 8pm.
Yesterday was a little better, but even today I’m still feeling a little disorientated. I start work tomorrow, so hopefully being back in a routine will make the transition easier, but in my mind I’m still on holiday. I miss Japan – miss the food, my friends and I suppose if I’m honest I miss not having any responsibilities. Now that I’m back in Sydney I have all the mundane day-to-day issues to consider – paying the telephone bill, going to the supermarket, dealing with the Sydney public transportation system… Being on holiday is so much easier in many ways. Of course there are certain challenges, but San Francisco and, for me, Japan are not exactly difficult places to travel to and in.
I’m only working 3 days a week, which in many ways quite suits me. There’s less pressure and I’m hoping that I can use the 2 extra days off productively to think about where life is taking me and what I want to do. I enjoy teaching, but I’m not sure that teaching English is what I want to do long term. While I was in Japan I started thinking about perhaps going back to university, but before I do that I need to think about what I want to do.
All of you who have been reading my blog would know that Qurban was in Pakistan visiting his family. Before he left he was telling me that his mother had been talking to him about getting married and we kept joking about how he was going to deal with his family pressuring him to get married. Just before he left Pakistan I called him from Japan to see how he was doing. He was just about to get on a flight to Islamabad to take some papers to the Australian Embassy for so his family can join him here in Australia, so we didn’t get to talk for very long. It was long enough, however, for him to tell me that 10 days earlier he’d got married! I thought he was joking at first, but he was deadly serious. He’d tried to tell his parents that he wasn’t in a position to be getting married, but in the end he decided that he didn’t want to upset or disappoint them and agreed to marry this woman that his parents had found for him. I’ve known about this for about 2 weeks now, but until now haven’t really felt like writing about it. I was very upset when he first told me, but now I realise that he had very little choice and I just hope that he and his wife will find happiness together. His wife, whose name is Munazza, was born in Pakistan as her parents fled Afghanistan during the communist regime in the 1980s. From what Qurban told me she’s well-educated, speaks English well and is currently studying banking and accounting at college. Qurban showed me some pictures of her on Sunday when he picked me up and she’s very beautiful. She now has to apply for a spousal visa, so I’m in the process of writing a statement for him declaring that I believe the marriage to be genuine and continuing – something I definitely didn’t expect to be doing.
It's strange how life can change so quickly, but I've realised just how important it is to be positive and to learn from everything. As the Dalai Lama said once we can learn a lot from our darkest moments. Qurban will always be a very special person in my life and I hope that our friendship continues to grow in new ways. The past 2 weeks have been hard, but I've learned a lot about myself and friendship and how important friends are. A big thankyou to Takako and Eriko who have helped me over the last few weeks. If it wasn't for you guys I don't know what I would have done.
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